


feelings, and how to face them: a guide for the modern lesbian

by onceuponanevilangel



Category: Mindhunter (TV 2017)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, i've been stewing about how s2 ended and now you all have to deal with it, nice, wow this is really the first work posted for this pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 07:07:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20421944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onceuponanevilangel/pseuds/onceuponanevilangel
Summary: "In her defense, lesbian dating was difficult at the best of times, and Wendy had never really had to do it before. It wasn’t like there was a handbook for this shit, and even if there was, she doubted that ‘my new girlfriend’s ex-husband doesn’t want their son exposed to the inherent instability of the homosexual lifestyle’ would make the quick reference section."Post-s2 (spoilers!) Wendy realizes that going after what she wants requires more effort than she thought.





	feelings, and how to face them: a guide for the modern lesbian

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written for Mindhunter before, but the ending of s2 made me angry on a lot of fronts, so I fixed it. For me at least, but you guys can read it too I guess. Anyway, I own any mistakes in here, and I hope that I did a decent job of capturing their voices. If you like it, kudos and comments are always appreciated. Enjoy!

Wendy’s first instinct was to apologize. A lifetime of Annaliese had clearly left its mark on her, and that night and all the morning after, she was thinking about how easy it would be to pick up the phone and call Kay. To say that she had overreacted, that she was sorry, that they could talk about it later –anything that would smooth things over until…until what?

Until Kay smiled at her and tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear and asked her if she’d like to take things back to the bedroom like Annaliese used to?

Christ, that relationship had really done a number on her.

Kay wasn’t like Annaliese though. Kay was sweet and sour in a good kind of way that keeps Wendy on her toes. She’s authentic and unapologetic and _God_ she really was the best sex Wendy ever had.

Of course good sex did not a relationship make, but it was definitely a pro, especially since the full extent of Wendy’s sexual activity since moving to Virginia had previously consisted of her own hand shoved between her legs as she thought of Annaliese for just long enough to get the job done. In her defense, lesbian dating was difficult at the best of times, and Wendy had never really had to do it before. It wasn’t like there was a handbook for this shit, and even if there was, she doubted that ‘my new girlfriend’s ex-husband doesn’t want their son exposed to the inherent instability of the homosexual lifestyle’ would make the quick reference section.

The rational part of Wendy’s mind knew that maybe she had overreacted. She didn’t know anything about kids –hell, she wasn’t even sure she _liked_ kids –and she had no right to wedge herself into Kay’s parenting, but she had her pride. Kay wanted her to be open and authentic and honest until it interfered with her own life, and Wendy felt like she had a right to be upset about that.

All of which was to say that Wendy didn’t call, and she didn’t go back to the bar even though every time she passed it, the overwhelming urge to turn around and try to fix everything, but she resisted.

Usually that resistance hinged upon her getting into her bedroom or the shower as soon as she got home and trying not to think about how quickly Kay’s face had replaced Annaliese’s.

One good lay was all it took to make her weak a hundred times over, but it wasn’t the same, and when the afterglow faded, she was still left with an empty bed.

In a way, it helped that things had been tense in general since Bill and Holden had gotten back from Atlanta. Holden didn’t say much, but then again he never really did. He kept his head buried in his notes and seemed to be going over every transcript and recording they had ever collected like he was going to find something new during his millionth listen. He claimed he was just double checking that there were catalogued properly after the move to the new space, but Wendy could tell he wasn’t sleeping much and she found herself keeping her office door cracked more often.

Bill didn’t want to talk much either, but he still told Wendy what had happened and was continuing to happen with Nancy and Brian and the menagerie of lawyers and social workers and DCFS suits who had sprung up around the situation. He wanted to keep it quiet as much as possible, and Wendy didn’t miss the amount of trust that he was putting in her. She tried not to think about it though, because any time she did, she thought about how much she wanted to be able to return the gesture, but even if she could, she was sure that Bill didn’t need her shit to deal with on top of everything else.

It was nearly three weeks since Atlanta when she heard a knock on her office door and she looked up to see Bill standing there with his coat thrown over his arm.

“I’m going out for a drink,” he said. “Care to join me?”

Wendy looked down at the paperwork she had been slogging through all afternoon. Greg’s accountability stunt hadn’t considered that there was such a thing as _too _thorough. She really should finish it, but her tired eyes and the dull tension headache starting at the base of her skull thought a drink sounded like a welcome distraction.

“Sure,” she said. She grabbed her coat and followed Bill out.

They ended up in the corner booth at the back of the bar, and of course it was just Wendy’s luck that Kay was there wiping down the bar in front of a couple of guys who were alternating swigs of beer with handfuls of bar nuts. It wasn’t the usual crowd of rowdy regulars, but it was enough that even though Kay noticed when they walked in, she couldn’t do much more than nod. When Bill shuffled up to the bar to order their drinks, there was already a glass of Riesling ready.

They didn’t talk much. Bill mostly just wanted the company, and Wendy wasn’t complaining about that either. Bill didn’t offer up much about Brian and Nancy, and Wendy had offered to help, but there wasn’t much that she could do, and he didn’t want to talk about it, so they mostly just drank in relative silence with the music playing around them. Wendy couldn’t help letting her eyes wander to the bar and to the woman behind it. Eventually, the two guys migrated down the bar to order some more substantial food, and Kay turned around to grab a towel out of the bucket underneath the back shelves.

“You want another round?” Wendy asked.

Bill looked surprised for a split second, but then he looked back down at his whiskey like he wasn’t sure how much was left. He still had half a glass left and he shook his head. Wendy finished what was left of her wine and ran a hand through her hair.

“I’m going to get another. I’ll be right back.”

Bill nodded once and Wendy stood up. She took a deep breath to steady herself as she made her way over to the bar and sat down on a vinyl-covered stool. She cleared her throat and Kay finally turned around.

“Hey,” she said. It wasn’t cold exactly, but it wasn’t her normal playful tone, and Wendy hoped that she wasn’t making a mistake here.

“Hi,” she replied.

“Did you…want a refill?” Kay asked, glancing down at the empty glass.

“Please,” Wendy said.

Kay grabbed the bottle and poured it into Wendy’s glass in a practiced arc without breaking eye contact. It was hot, there was really no other way to put it, but this wasn’t the time. She crossed her legs tight, shifted on the barstool, and leaned her elbows on the bar. She wasn’t sure if it was her imagination or if she actually felt Bill’s eyes on her, but she did her best to put it out of her mind as Kay turned back and glanced over at the booth Wendy had just left.

“What’s up with General Patton?” Kay asked, inclining her head towards the booth were Bill was still sitting. “He lose a mistress or something?”

“His wife, actually,” Wendy said coolly. “And their son.”

“Shit, really?”

“Yeah.” Wendy took a sip of her wine and glanced pointedly over at Bill who had the decency to look down at his glass like he hadn’t been paying attention at all. “It’s kind of funny how you can look at someone and think you know them and somehow still be completely off base.”

“I guess I probably deserved that,” Kay said.

“I’m sorry.” Wendy’s cheeks flushed and she quickly took another sip of her wine. At least that way she could blame it on something.

Kay frowned. “For what?”

“For being an ass,” Wendy said.

“Well don’t apologize for that. Your ass is my favorite feature.”

Wendy blushed, and this time she knew it wasn’t from the wine.

“I should have called though,” she said. “Or picked up when you called, or talked to you, or –”

“Let me stop you there.” Kay held up one hand and glanced down towards the other end of the bar. It was a slow night and the other bartender down near the single pool table seemed to be keeping up with things just fine, so Kay tossed her towel over her shoulder and crossed her arms. “I guess this means I owe you an apology too.”

“No.” Wendy frowned. “No, I was the one who overreacted. I should never have tried to –”

“Let me guess, to interfere with Nicky?” Wendy hid her nod in another sip of her wine. “Yeah, you’re right, but this is a two-way street, you know? After that night I figured I’d give you some space, but that only works if one of us comes back, you know?”

Wendy started to open her mouth, but Kay stopped her by flicking her towel on the counter next to Wendy’s arm. “If you say you’re sorry or you try to convince me this is all your fault again, I’m gonna scream,” Kay said. “Because the more you’re trying to apologize, the less we’re actually talking, and I’m assuming you didn’t leave the good general drinking alone on a Tuesday to _not _patch things up, so how about we cut to the part where you tell me what you’re here for.”

Wendy paused and took a long sip of her wine for courage.

“Well, an honest woman once told me that I needed to go after what I want.”

“Oh really?” The corner of Kay’s lip twitches and she raises one eyebrow. “That sounds like some pretty good advice. What is it that you want exactly?”

“A second chance?” Wendy tried.

“Close,” Kay said. She was clearly trying not to smile watching Wendy fumble over her words, but Wendy found that she didn’t mind it. In fact, Kay’s smile was almost contagious and it made telling the truth all the easier.

“You.”

Kay’s smile was so bright it could have lit up the entire dingy bar, and for the first time in weeks, Wendy felt like she could breathe.

Kay braced her hands on the bar and leaned in so close that her breath tickled the shell of Wendy’s ear. “I’m off in fifteen minutes. What are you doing tonight?”

Wendy glanced back at the corner booth where Bill was still nursing his drink, now with a lit cigarette sending smoke curling around him.

“Tonight’s probably not good. I should make sure he gets home alright. But I could come back tomorrow?” Wendy lifted her eyes hopefully to meet Kay’s and Kay responded by pressing her lips against Wendy’s. It was sudden and unexpected, but not unwelcome and Wendy let her eyes fall closed and the world fade away for the split second that they were connected.

But then Kay pulled back and Wendy had to press her palm onto the bar to steady herself. The heat between her legs made her wish that she could change her plans, but she couldn’t just leave Bill. Especially since she was pretty sure she was going to have some explaining to do.

“Tomorrow sounds great,” Kay said. Her voice was already low, and she dropped it even lower so that Wendy had to lean in even closer to hear her say, “Someone left the new issue of Cosmo on a table the other night and I can’t wait to try out some of their tips.”

Wendy rolled her eyes, but it was halfhearted and barely effective since she couldn’t keep a straight face. When she pulled back, Kay was grinning too.

“I’m off tomorrow, so you can swing by whenever you get out.”

“I’ll make it early,” Wendy said. “We can get dinner?”

“Dinner sounds great.”

“And we can talk.”

“Talking also sounds great.”

“And we could…”

Wendy trailed off raised one eyebrow and she and her core were rewarded by Kay leaning in so close that her lips nearly brushed Wendy’s cheek. “Oh yeah,” she said. “We definitely could.”

Wendy finished what was left in her glass, set it on the bar, fished a few bills out of her pocket, paused, and then before she had a chance to second-guess herself, she leaned across the bar and kissed Kay full on the lips. She was pretty sure she heard Bill choke on his drink behind her and she was even more sure that she was about to have a lot of explaining to do, but she didn’t care. For the first time in a long time, she knew what she wanted, and she had no plans to let it go again.


End file.
